Archive for July, 2007

No Sex For You »

If you eat meat, neither of these people will have sex with you. They call themselves Vegansexuals, because they wouldn’t want to call themselves something ridiculous, and think they’re making a point by refusing to have sex with carnivores. Can you think of a better reason to order a thick, juicy steak? The woman is […]

Chasing Gandpa »

The setup: An old guy decides to ride his old-guy scooter on the highway. The cops tell him to pull over. He swears at them and cranks it up to it’s maximum speed: 8 MPH. The punch line: He got away!

Dead Men Don’t Drive Tractors »

Yesterday the department of agriculture put their hands in the pockets of their overalls, looked rather sheepishly at the ground and kicked a clump of sod. Then they admitted they’ve paid over a billion dollars in subsidies to farmers who were, well, dead. The result is my second favorite quote of the year: “It’s unconscionable […]

The 20,000% tax increase. »

No, that is not a misprint. Congress is trying to implement a tax increase that will be 20,000% in some cases. State, federal, and even city governments have been screwing cigarette smokers for decades. In some cases those taxes are over 800%. (The Boston Tea Party was a protest against a 4% tax.) Cigar smokers […]

Live Free or Die Hard »

You’ve probably seen the commercial for Live Free or Die Hard. It shows a car spinning through the air toward Bruce, who ducks between two other cars while it smashes down just inches from his head. This is followed by a shot of another car flying through the air and smashing into a hovering helicopter. […]

Silencing Studies »

Most medical journals have eagerly swallowed the junk science and outright lies of the anti-smoker crowd. This makes it nearly impossible for the opposition to be heard. One exception is the American Council on Science and Health. Michael McFadden and Dave Kuneman authored a very comprehensive study that shows the conclusions of the widely publicized […]

Perfume Panic »

I warned about this more than seven years ago. The only surprise is that it took this long. Susan McBride, a whiny bitch from Detroit, is suing her employer because people wear scents to work. She imagines this violates her rights under the Americans With Disabilities Act. She wants all her co-workers to stop wearing […]