{"id":46,"date":"2007-09-18T12:36:17","date_gmt":"2007-09-18T16:36:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/2007\/09\/18\/the-perfect-sentence\/"},"modified":"2007-09-18T12:36:17","modified_gmt":"2007-09-18T16:36:17","slug":"the-perfect-sentence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/the-perfect-sentence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Perfect Sentence"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So you&#8217;re sitting on your porch or walking down the street and the sights and sounds are pleasant and you&#8217;re in a good mood.  Suddenly, fading in fast, you hear the thumpa thumpa thumpa of (c)rap &#8220;music&#8221; approaching.  When it reaches you it&#8217;s blasting either from a black, shiny, leased SUV or a pathetic shitbox sedan, with uplifting lyrics like<\/p>\n<p>I gonna kill da bitch<br \/>\nI gona kill da ho<br \/>\nI gonna take her head off<br \/>\nWid my magnum foedy-foe<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re in Fort Lupton, Colorado, you can smile, knowing that that when this loser gets arrested for assaulting everyone&#8217;s eardrums with his horrible taste he&#8217;ll receive exactly <a href=\"http:\/\/cbs4denver.com\/local\/local_story_258183427.html\" target=\"_blank\">the punishment he deserves<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Judge Paul Sacco sentences noise offenders to stand and listen a special mix: an hour of Barry Manllow, The Carpenters, and in what may violate the prohibition against torture, Barney.  Violators must stay alert during the hour log punishment and are not allowed to read, chew gum, or do anything but listen to the tunes.<\/p>\n<p>The judge says he has very few repeat offenders.<\/p>\n<p>Well done, Judge Sacco.  You&#8217;ve found a perfect balance of the punishment fitting the crime.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So you&#8217;re sitting on your porch or walking down the street and the sights and sounds are pleasant and you&#8217;re in a good mood. Suddenly, fading in fast, you hear the thumpa thumpa thumpa of (c)rap &#8220;music&#8221; approaching. When it reaches you it&#8217;s blasting either from a black, shiny, leased SUV or a pathetic shitbox [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}