{"id":506,"date":"2008-12-28T19:14:01","date_gmt":"2008-12-29T00:14:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/watch-that-weiner\/"},"modified":"2008-12-28T19:17:10","modified_gmt":"2008-12-29T00:17:10","slug":"watch-that-weiner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/watch-that-weiner\/","title":{"rendered":"Watch That Weiner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Urologists the UK are <a href=\"http:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/story\/0,2933,473090,00.html\">warning parents<\/a> that young boys can&#8217;t be trusted to pee on their own.\u00c2\u00a0 &#8220;Crush Injuries&#8221; from falling toilet seats are on the rise.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re warning against wooden and ceramic toilet seats, and those stainless steal ones with the sharpened, perforated edges on the front are <em>right<\/em> out.\u00c2\u00a0 They&#8217;re advising that &#8220;soft fall&#8221; sets be installed in every bathroom in the home.\u00c2\u00a0 They fail to mention the biggest cause of falling seats &#8211; those damn fluffy covers women insist on adding to the lid.\u00c2\u00a0 They&#8217;re also advising parents to supervise every bathroom visit, because who wouldn&#8217;t enjoy the memory of mom watching every time you pee.\u00c2\u00a0 That couldn&#8217;t possibly have any bad effect.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re calling them Crush Injuries, which makes them sound horrible and severe and scary.\u00c2\u00a0 How horrible?\u00c2\u00a0 They&#8217;ve seen some swelling.\u00c2\u00a0 Yep.\u00c2\u00a0 A little swelling of the foreskin.\u00c2\u00a0 Insert your own swelling penis joke here.<\/p>\n<p>How big is this epidemic of injury?\u00c2\u00a0 How many little boys in the UK have had their whanger whacked?\u00c2\u00a0 Four.\u00c2\u00a0 <em>Four!<\/em> Four boys got a minor injury and are now smart enough to never let it happen again, so the doctors go into a tizzy spreading fear, issuing statements and making goofy recommendations.<\/p>\n<p>Someone should slam their dicks in a toilet lid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Urologists the UK are warning parents that young boys can&#8217;t be trusted to pee on their own.\u00c2\u00a0 &#8220;Crush Injuries&#8221; from falling toilet seats are on the rise. They&#8217;re warning against wooden and ceramic toilet seats, and those stainless steal ones with the sharpened, perforated edges on the front are right out.\u00c2\u00a0 They&#8217;re advising that &#8220;soft [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/506"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=506"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/506\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":507,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/506\/revisions\/507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=506"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=506"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=506"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}