A friend of mine fell in love with a woman from across the pond, so he packed up and moved a few thousand miles. Since then he’s been publishing an amusing blog about being an American in the UK. Here’s his latest offering:<\/p>\n
“Our town has a pleasingly diminutive shopping mall in its center. This mall is named Swan Walk Mall to commemorate The Swan Pub that was destroyed to make way for it, just as the pub, one must assume, was named for the swans it displaced. In 1990 a fetching bronze sculpture was placed in the central atrium, depicting three swans gliding in for a landing on a smooth plane of water, with tiny fountains squirting against the webbed feet and tail of the lead swan to give the illusion of movement.<\/p>\n
It is a soothing and appropriate addition to the mall and for sixteen years people have been admiring it, milling around it or even standing next to it without once being killed, maimed or even happy-slapped by these placid figures. But lack of danger isn’t enough to fool the Health and Safety Enforcers; they have deemed the statue unsafe and it must go.<\/p>\n
As a final act of lunacy, they have walled the statue off to keep the public away from the danger until they find a secure place to dump it.”<\/p>\n