Today is Blasphemy Day because, well, just because.\u00c2\u00a0 The religious have a plethora of holidays to choose from, so why shouldn’t atheists, apostates and blasphemers have their own day as well?<\/p>\n
The Capital Region Atheists & Agnostics meetup group will be celebrating, of course.\u00c2\u00a0 Our dinner table will be decorated with butter sculptures of Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins and Eddie Izzard.\u00c2\u00a0 The meal will be baby-back ribs, made from real babies.\u00c2\u00a0 (Contrary to popular belief, humans do not taste like chicken.\u00c2\u00a0 They taste like pork.)\u00c2\u00a0 We’ll wash it down with the blood of Christians and Muslims.\u00c2\u00a0 (Believers’ blood is available at any good Jewish deli, if you know who to ask.)\u00c2\u00a0 Once we’re stuffed (we’re all gluttons, of course) we’ll start the orgy, which will consist of sex with goats and ducks<\/a>.\u00c2\u00a0 (I’ll only have sex with female goats because I’m not gay.\u00c2\u00a0 (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)).<\/p>\n Because this was put together with short notice, we may have trouble getting the blood and the babies and the butter sculptures.\u00c2\u00a0 We are, however, planning on a debaptism ceremony, conducted by whoever happens to be wearing the best atheist t-shirt at the moment.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a simple procedure: ceremoniously removing the last remnants of any long-evaporated baptismal water with a hair drier.\u00c2\u00a0 (Hey, it makes just as much sense as any other religious ceremony.)<\/p>\n One of our members pointed out that Christians who use blow dryers may inadvertently be debaptizing themselves every time they get out of the shower.\u00c2\u00a0 Watch out, believers.\u00c2\u00a0 Your God sends people to hell for the most trivial reasons and it would be a shame to live a good and virtuous life only to end up next to us for eternity just because you overdid it with a Conair.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today is Blasphemy Day because, well, just because.\u00c2\u00a0 The religious have a plethora of holidays to choose from, so why shouldn’t atheists, apostates and blasphemers have their own day as well? The Capital Region Atheists & Agnostics meetup group will be celebrating, of course.\u00c2\u00a0 Our dinner table will be decorated with butter sculptures of Christopher […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[22],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/902"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=902"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/902\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":903,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/902\/revisions\/903"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.davehitt.com\/blog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}