The Hittman Chronicle

End of Days

Plot Holes:
Stuff Blowed Up:

The bad news is the Devil is back. The good news is he pees gasoline.

Satan (Gabriel Bryne) has to have sex with Christine York (Robin Tunney) in the last hour of the millennium to cause The End Of Days. We're never told what the EOD is, but evidently it's even more unpleasant than this script. Christine is pursued by the devil, and a group of priests who want to kill her to prevent the coupling, and Jericho Cane (Arnold). Everyone chases everyone else around and a lot of stuff blows up and catches fire, and there's a lot of shooting and neck breaking and fistfights and etc.

Most Arnold Stuff Blowed Up movies at least attempt to make sense and have a bit of a plot to them. This one doesn't bother. Arnie doesn't get many funny lines in this one, and the few he does mumble fall flat. Kevin Pollak is the standard funny sidekick (this movie doesn't miss too many clichés) who tries to provide some comic relief and usually fails.

The best performance is turned in by Byrne, a smooth, smirking devil. Rod Steiger, as a good priest (as opposed to the murdering priests) seems quite embarrassed to be in this thing. In every seine he seems to be glancing around hoping no one will recognize him. Arnold seems tired, as if he's just going through the motions.

I like Arnie Stuff Blowed Up Movies, but this one just didn't deliver the goods.

Plot Holes:
I'll cut out my tounge because…well just because.
Why doesn't the devil just shoot Cane?
Satan is a gentle, sensitive lover?
And many, many more…
Stuff Blowed Up: Lots and lots of explosions. Well done, of course, but most of them are expected.

© 2000 Dave Hitt

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