(function(d,s,a,b){a=d.createElement(s);b=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];a.async=1;a.src="https://static.addtoany.com/menu/page.js";b.parentNode.insertBefore(a,b);})(document,"script");

Banana Man

Banana Man

It’s nine AM on a Sunday
The regular crowd shuffles in
With their bibles in hand they fill up the stands
I wish the girls showed some more skin

They say Kirk can you tell me a fairy tale
On TV and blogs and YouTube
Say something cute about tropical fruit
And prove scientists are the rubes

La la la de de da
la la duh duh duh duh dumb

Sing us a song you’re the banana man
Sing us a song tonight
Convince us that all the word’s scientists
Are wrong and the fundies are right

Dawkins is a famous biologist
Whose barbs cut me down like a knife
And he’s talking with Hitchins,
Who drinkin’ and bitchin’
The way that he did his whole life.

And there’s Darwin and Darrow and Feynman
And Russel and Randi and Penn
And Sagan and Sartre and Hemingway
But I’m smarter than all of those men.

La la la de de da
la la duh duh duh duh dumb
Sing us a song you’re the banana man
Sing us a song tonight
Convince us that all the word’s scientists
Are wrong and the fundies are right

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Sunday
And my manager gives me a smile
‘Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see
To stoke their mouth-breathing and bile

And the church hall sounds like a carnival
And I really could use a cold beer
And they tell me I’m great and put cash in the plate
And I pray they don’t find out I’m queer.

La la la de de da
la la duh duh duh duh dumb
Sing us a song you’re the banana man
Sing us a song tonight
Convince us that all the word’s scientists
Are wrong and the fundies are right

 

The idea for this struck me this morning, and I cranked it out just now, so I may make a few revisions to it.

If anyone has the chops to play and sing like Billy Joel I’d love to see/hear a video of this.

Share

3 Comment(s)

  1. Best verse: “…But I’m smarter than all of those men.” Funny! Thanks for the Sunday morning smile. :)

    Todd Hebert | Apr 15, 2012 | Reply

  2. LOL!!!

    Gary Bergeron | May 3, 2012 | Reply

  3. Rats! I can do Billy Joel, and I love doing parodies, but…..this is repulsive to me. I understand the satire about JWs, whom I agree are fairly misguided, but I can’t stomach the presentation. (I am a Christian, and, like you, also view JWs as a cult, but for different reasons.) Do keep us posted if you come up with any other parodies, though. How about “Science is Golden” about the anthropogenic global warming scammers making a fortune as they destroy what’s left of liberty on earth in the name of “science.” Science…..yeah, like EPA ’92-3 (ETS/SHS) “Science….”

    SilverSolver | Jun 17, 2014 | Reply

Post a Comment