Playmoble has introduced a new toy that will help kids experience the Big Brother state we’re living in - The Playmoble Security Check Point.
Lots of smart as commentary springs to mind, but I’ve been beaten to the punch by the reviewers at Amazon.
Tacky religious items are always amusing, especially to us heathen nonbelievers, but this is just plain wrong:
This is evidently a Catholic item. The little girl is frightened and appalled, while the boy, admiring the Jesus Junk, is obviously considering a future in the priesthood.
Can you come up with a better one?
No matter what the problem is, sooner or later someone will Blame The Jews. In yet another example why it’s so difficult to write satire in this world, a group calling themselves “Green Hanukkah” is calling on Jews to combat global warming by lighting one less Hanukkah candle. Each unburned candle will save a whopping fifteen grams of CO2.
The founder of “Green Hanukkah” says, “”the campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won’t need another miracle.”
Over the yeas I’ve heard several Jewish friends admit that Hanukkah is so dull they usually make it to the forth or fifth day before they say “screw it” and stop bothering with the ritual. Little did they know they were saving the world.
. . .you’re as old a geek as me.
The many sites at davehitt.com generate lots of e-mail. Some is complementary, some is insulting and most falls somewhere between. I enjoy it all.
I’m guessing that people who send hate filled screeds think it will make me angry. The fact is I find most of them amusing and entertaining.
Most hate mail comes from The Facts and proves that anti-smokers are blind, stupid and driven mostly by hate. But other articles also inspire venomous e-mail.
Many years ago I wrote an article explaining how Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is nothing more than extreme hypochondria. No one else wants to be near extreme hypochondriacs, so they stick together, forming little clots of misery. Every once in a while one of these clots stumbles across the article and sends me a fresh batch of spew.
This arrived in my in box this evening. I have not edited it in any way. It was written in all caps and italics, in brown lettering and a fancy curly font I won’t try to replicate.
Subject: Absolute Non-scents
From: Mayleen <maydreams@comcast.net>
PLEASE POST YOU PICTURE ON THE INTERNET SO THAT EVRYONE HAS A PICTURE OF WHAT A REAL LIVE IGNORANTE ASSHOLE LOOKS LIKE AND WE
Yes, Mayleen, you obviously do need the space for educational purposes. Free clue, genius: When you’re going to send e-mail calling someone ignorant, run it through a spelling and grammar check first.
Follow-up:
Mayleen responded to this blog entry by spamming me with a dozen articles that had nothing to do with MCS. They were mostly about allergies, and MCS “sufferers” will get highly indignant if you even imply they have something as mundane as allergies.
She sent three separate replies to my one e-mail. Her responses were:
HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING ALL THE READING MATERIAL !!!!! CORRECT THOSE !!!!!
No need to check it. I was speaking to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
NO NEED TOOOOOOO I WAS SPITING TO UUUUUU!!!!!!!
This lends credence to my theory that a person’s IQ is inversely proportionate to the number of exclamation points they use.
The brilliant and funny author Terry Pratchett mentions over use of exclamation marks in three of his books.
“‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.’”
– in “Eric(Faust)”
“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
– in “Reaper Man”
“‘And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.’”
– in “Maskerade”
This twit is now in my spam filter, so I won’t have anything further to report on her. But you’ve got her e-mail address if you’d like to be amused by her insanity.
So you want to advertise your business. You spend tons of money hiring talented professionals who make sure your advertisements are smart, clever, funny, attention grabbing and aimed at the correct demographic. You spend even more putting those ads up where you’re potential customers will see them.
But maybe, just maybe, you should be a little more careful about where they go.
