It’s All The Fault of Global Warming

Sixteen Things You Can Blame on Global Warming

  1. I thought that the killings in Darfur were the result of tribal warfare, rebel groups, a corrupt government (is there any other kind?) and regional politics. Silly me. It turns out it was caused by global warming. And that’s according to the UN, so you know it must be true.
  2. Scotland is preparing for a crime wave, which will be caused by global warming.
  3. I like cats, but you can have too many of them. If you do, blame global warming.
  4. When frogs started dying off all over the world the Rachel Carlson crowd insisted that pesticides were to blame. It turned out it was due to parasites and fungus. And, of course, global warming.
  5. If you have cockroaches, guess why? Yep, global warming.
  6. Beetles? Oh yeah, that’s because of global warming too.
  7. The snows of Kilimanjaro have been receding for years, and of course global warming is to blame for that. No, wait.
  8. Damn, insurance is expensive. All because of global warming.
  9. The reason hurricane Katrina was so nasty was because of global warming. (But wait – the following year we had the fewest, mildest hurricanes in a long time. (Shh, don’t tell anyone.))
  10. Are Tornadoes caused by global warming? Of course!
  11. Is there as shortage of hookers in your area? Damn that global warming!
  12. Why was your web site down? Global warming, of course.
  13. If an old guy is growing tiny bananas in his greenhouse, you know global warming is to blame.
  14. Is all this making you feel ill? Maybe it’s not this list; you’re sick because of global warming.
  15. Wolves eat fewer moose in one island and more moose on another, all because of global warming.
  16. And finally, we used to always be able to count on using the phrase “as cold as a nun’s tit in a brass bra.” Unfortunately, global warming has put an end to that too.
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6 Comment(s)

  1. While I agree that it just might be overapplied, I do think global warming is real. I have not followed the science much, but the scientific consensus speaks for itself; in order to say global warming is fake you must say that a bunch of people who make a living proving each other wrong have all decided to agree on this one lie. Which is ridiculous; the climatologist who proved global warming false would be a hero in his field.

    So while I’m not too familiar with the science, can any deniers out there address this argument?

    Scott With No Last Name | Jun 26, 2007 | Reply

  2. The argument is not that it is fake, it is just that it is hyped and it takes recent trends and carries them too far into the future. There are a number of geologists, geographers, climatologists, and other scientists in relevant fields who disagree with the consensus.

    Even consensus is a tricky term because it refers to several different things:

    1. Are carbon and other emissions released by human activity causing an increase in temperature?

    2. Is the Earth heating up?

    3. Is Global Warming going to cause major negative changes in the ecosystem?

    The are scientists that would answer ‘yes’ to all questions, ‘no’ to all questions, and every other variation.

    Just to make things clear, I haven’t looked into the issue in depth, so I have no solid opinion. All I know is that whenever I hear something from one side, I hear a pretty good point from the other.

    Harley | Jun 27, 2007 | Reply

  3. Here’s the thing. Global warming exists. That’s a fact. Are humans causing it, and can they realistically do anything about it? That’s what the debate is (or should be) about.

    Johnny V. | Jun 28, 2007 | Reply

  4. Yes, Scott, I can address your “Issue”, the fact that some, or even a LOT of people, (Scientists or not) agree to a “consensus” on an issue, in no way makes that issue true, provable, or repeatable, which is what true science does, and can prove those results, EVERY time, that is how “science” works, not by any consensus of individuals who happen to agree to a theory that keeps there grant paychecks coming in.

    It wasn’t that long ago that the headlines read(Screamed, more like), that we were entering a new ice age, just a few short decades ago, where did the ice age go? Have you ever watched any of the shows on Discovery, or any other channel that profile earths climate ages? Is there any physical proof that mankind is CAUSING any of these changes? After seeing the changes this planet has gone through, long before man put his first step on this planet, how can we even begin to think that mankind is causing any of this? It may be true that we are hastening global warming, it may not, but considering that natural changes this planet has already gone through, I find it highly arrogant of mankind to assume they have the power to do any permanent damage to this planet. What really gets me about these arguments, is that the planet will be fine, regardless of what man does, it is indeed mankind that has to worry whether or not this planet will kill man off during it’s normal cycles, or whether mankind can survive global warming, I gaurantee the planet will, it has before, proven.

    Jerry T | Jul 1, 2007 | Reply

  5. Your quite right the planet will survive humanity the question is can we survive ourselves and continue to progress. I don’t think that global warming is the greatest threat yet, that spot is occupied by religion, but as the climate changes so does the economy and society that was built upon it. It seems wise to do what is in our power to slow the speed of climate change as much as possible to more easily adapt to it.

    dc | Jul 6, 2007 | Reply

  6. dc, I have to disagree with you, instead of us trying to slow the natural order of the planet, wouldn’t we be much better off trying to speed our adaptation to these changes? What makes you believe mankind CAN slow/change the planets natural heating and cooling cycles? Why is it even paramount that our species survives? Nature and history have shown us that the dominant species often does not, so we mess with nature, again, and find out how nasty it truly can be?

    Jerry T | Jul 10, 2007 | Reply

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