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“Jesus Christ, I Missed.”

In Denver a 22 foot statue of Jesus was struck by lightening. The bolt from heaven blew off its right arm and, for good measure, its left hand.

“Don’t look for any religious symbolism here – it was only a freak act of Mother Nature, says Sister Ilaria.”

Really? I’d be willing to bet a life size milk chocolate Jesus that if the lightening had missed the statue she’s be crowing about how it proves the mercy of God, or some other such nonsense.

Which, like many news stories, reminds me of a Very Old Joke.

A golfer is about eight feet from the hole, and takes his shot. For some unexplained reason, there is a nun on the green with him. He overshoots the hole by four feet and says “Jesus Christ, I Missed.”

The nun is appalled and says “It is a sin to use the name of The Lord in vain. Please do not do that again.

Ignoring her, the golfer makes his putt and the ball stops two inches from the hole. “Jesus Christ, I missed!”

Now the nun is getting angry. “I’ve warned you. Now I’m going to pray for God to strike you dead on this spot if you use his name in vain again.”

The man, also fuming, ignores the nun and taps the ball toward the cup. It hits the rim, rolls around it once, twice, then out.

Now the golfer is furious! He slams down his putter and screams “Jesus H. Christ on a bike, I don’t believe I missed that! Jesus Christ, I missed!”

Suddenly a dark cloud forms over his head. He hears a rumble of thunder and looks up. A bolt of lightening flashes to earth, hitting the nun and killing her instantly.

From the heavens he hears a deep voice: “Jesus Christ, I missed.”

Too bad no one was around when the lightening hit the statue. They might have heard the same thing.

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2 Comment(s)

  1. I really enjoyed reading this! Nice article. And I’m also a real person too lol.

    Connor | Dec 10, 2009 | Reply

  2. Cute joke, and a novel one, to me at least!

    I realize the post is older than dirt, but, for what it’s worth, you’re talking about “lightning” – the bolt from the sky. “Lightening” means “to be made lighter.”

    Raph | Jan 12, 2015 | Reply

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