Quick Hitts

Jehovah’s Witnesses are actively discouraged (virtually forbidden) from contributing to relief organizations in response to disasters.  On Friday afternoon someone on the Jehovah’s Witnesses Recovery Forum suggested setting up a site to encourage ex-JWs to donate to Haitian relief funds.  Friday night several of us had a conference call to plan out the details.  Now, on Sunday morning, less than 48 hours later, Ex Jehovah’s Witnesses For Haiti is up and running.

A half dozen people contributed their skills to make it a reality.  I’m very proud of all the people involved, and proud to have been a part of it.

An Open Letter to Everyone who has Escaped from Jehovah’s Witnesses

When we were Jehovah’s Witnesses, we responded to disasters with a perverse glee. We believed things like the earthquake in Haiti were a fulfillment of prophecy, a welcome sign that we were closer to our eagerly anticipated apocalypse. We were trained to be observers on standby, obediently waiting to hear from Bethel if there were any “brothers” or “sisters” in need. If there weren’t, we did nothing. If there were we’d be generous, but our generosity was limited to other Witnesses. Once in a great while, if anything was left, some non-Witnesses might receive some of the leftovers, but that was rare in our experience. We were disgustingly self-centered.

Now we’ve escaped and become the “worldly” people we were warned about. We read what we want to, watch what we like, pursue education, and develop friendships with good people who have real compassion that we never experienced in the cult. We no longer have the self-serving fear of humanity that defined us in our past life. And we are no longer discouraged from helping people in their times of need. We will never again help only “our own”. Now we understand that all of humanity is united, and our “brothers” and “sisters” are everyone, including those suffering in Haiti.

Transitioning from the Witnesses to the real world is always very difficult and usually takes many years. We try things, experiment, fail, try again and fail again, over and over until we finally succeed in finding our place in the real world and being comfortable in our own skin. While many skills, attitudes and actions are difficult for us to learn, some are pretty simple. An easy one, one we never did as Witnesses even though most “worldly” people do it as a matter of course, is helping out others in extreme need. It takes very little effort, other than to truly love all of our neighbors.

Whether you’re someone who hasn’t donated to an outside organization yet or a seasoned volunteer looking for a way to help, this is a perfect opportunity to both help Haitians with their recovery and show solidarity with other ex-Witnesses who wish to provide real relief in disaster situations. Simply select one of the charities on the home page, click the button, and make a donation. If you can only afford a few dollars, that’s fine. Discover how great it feels to give freely to help complete strangers in a dire situation.

Dropping money into the contribution box never felt this good.

* * *

ExJWs4Haiti never touches the money that’s donated – it goes directly to the charity of your choice.  Donations are completely anonymous.   The organizations we’ve selected, The Red Cross, CARE, Doctors Without Borders and Save The Children, are letting us know the dollar amounts contributed, but by design are providing no other information.

According to their official press release the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society – the controlling body of Jehovah’s Witnesses – are offering Haiti – prayer.  Whoop de do.  If they ever get off their self-righteous butts and send real aid we can be certain it will be earmarked for other JWs, and no one else.

If you’ve escaped from the JWs, or any other cult, this is an opportunity to pitch in and offer some real help.  It only takes a few minutes, and every dollar helps.  Please stop by Ex Jehovah’s Witnesses for Haiti and give what you can.

Few things can make life as miserable as idiot neighbors.  Imagine someone next door demanding you give up your cell phone and wi-fi because he’s allergic to electromagnetic radiation.

If you life in Santa Fe, you don’t have to imagine it.  Arthur Firstenberg is demanding his neighbors turn off everything to cater to his imaginary allergy to EMF.  He’s banded together with other idiots who are insisting that all wi-fi be banned in all public buildings.  “I get chest pain,” he says.  “It doesn’t go away right away. I suffer for a couple of days. If I walk into a room of a building that has Wi-Fi, my most immediate sign is that the front of my right thigh goes numb. If I don’t leave, I’ll get short of breath, chest pains and the numbness will spread.”  He’s banding together with other neurotics, trying to use the American’s With Disabilities Act to force everyone to cater to their nonsense.  (I wonder where they get together?)

This reaction to our wired world is somewhat popular among those claiming Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, another imaginary disease.  (When typing this, I misspelled “sensitivity.” My spelling checker suggested the correct word was “senility.”)

These people are suffering.  Their pain and symptoms are quite real.  The problem is with their self diagnosis.  They are not suffering from EHS, MCS, or any of the other long lists of diseases they whine about to anyone who makes the mistake of asking them, “How are you?”  Their real illness is severe hypochondria. There are treatments for that, but since they won’t accept a legitimate diagnosis they’ll continue to wallow in their self-imposed anguish and demand that everyone else change their lifestyle until they’re just as miserable.

I’ve found the best way to deal with such people: avoid them as if they had a real and contagious disease.

Add-On: Mike Tighe sent me this link about locals whining about the horrible things a local radio tower was doing to them.  There was just one little problem:  The tower had been turned off for weeks.

I’ve got a lot of 2009 links left over for the ever-popular Things Atheists Didn’t Do series.  Here’s the first half of the list.    (You can find other TADD here.)

This one is actually from 2008.  (I have so many of these things saved sometimes they  get lost.)  Three Christian parents murdered their children by relying on prayer or faith healing instead of getting them proper medical care.  Their children, who could have been saved with simple and safe medical procedures, would still be alive if their parents were atheists.

Hurting the feelings of Muslims is a crime in some parts of the world and  they’re attempting to spread that insanity world wide.

In January the Pope revealed a list of sins so heinous only he could offer absolution.  On the list:  a parishioner who has participated in an abortion, even by simply paying for part of it.  Not on the list: priests raping children, of course.

Click to Enlarge

Waitresses depend on tips to survive, but a group of Christians told a waitress they wouldn’t be leaving her a tip because they thought working on Sunday was a sin.  It was OK for them to enjoy the labor of sinners working on their holy day, as long as they didn’t pay for it.    (In my experience Atheists tend to tip generously.)

In Saudi Arabia housekeepers were hounded into admitting they had cast dozens of spells in people’s houses – because the householders insisted it happened.  They should have hired atheists housekeepers.  Good luck finding one in Saudi Arabia, where admitting to believing reality can be fatal.

A woman in St. Paul withdrew her federal lawsuit against her husband for using voodoo against her because God told her to stop being an asshole.

Want to get a woman to blow herself up for Allah?  Just rape her first.  And you don’t even have schedule it yourself – this nice Muslim grandmotherly type will do it for you.

In Saudi Arabia a 23 year-old woman who was gang raped by five good Allah worshiping Muslim men was sentenced to a year in prison and 100 lashes for adultery by a Saudi judge.  Because her rapists impregnated her, the most merciful Islamic court will wait until after she gives birth before beating the shit out of her.

In Pakistan popular singers are quitting their profession in the face of threats from the Taliban.

Catholics are pissed off at the Detroit Tigers for starting a game during “holy hours.”  The only  atheists angry at them were those foolish enough to bet on them.

A Muslim woman who was repeatedly raped by her Imam father fled his home when facing a forced marriage.  He formed a 40 man gang and went on a hunt with the explicit intention of murdering her.  I wonder if he hangs out with priests?  Since Mohamed was a pedophile priests and Imams should get along great.

In NYC a deli owner who accidentally served non-kosher hot dogs to Jews had to fight some of them off with an electric knife.  There are no videos of this, which is unfortunate because it would be freaking hilarious.

God is a crappy co-pilot.  In Tunisia a pilot who prayed instead of following emergency procedures while is plane went down was (surprisingly) convicted and sentenced to jail.  The 16 people who died would have been much  better off  with an atheist pilot.  In contrast, Captain Sullenberger crash landed his plane in the Hudson River and saved everyone on board.  When asked if he prayed he said. “I would imagine somebody in back was taking care of that for me while I was flying the airplane.”  Which pilot would you want in the cockpit during an emergency?

In Iran a member of the Basiji militia confessed about how, in the name of Allah he would “marry” and rape young girls the night before their execution, because Islamic law forbids executing a virgin.  Allah is merciful, piss be upon him.

In Chicago a Muslim woman beat her two year old to death.  The Muslim community was outraged – not about the beating death of a child, but by the news media showing her face.

Here’s some relationship advice from Pat Robertson, who is as brilliant as ever.

I’m only about half way through my backlog of links, and I’ve discarded at least half of them.  I’ll post the rest of them later this month.

You’ll be notified of the update (and any updates to this blog) if you follow me on Twitter.

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The latest terrorist attempt to bring down a plane proves, beyond any doubt, that the TSA’s security theater is useless.  This guy was already on their watch list but that didn’t even slow him down.  (The watch list has, however, caused a lot of perfectly innocent people, including infants, from getting on a plane, because in their brilliance the TSA only goes by names, evidently unaware that many people share the same name.  Even uncommon names are shared by many people.  For instance, I always thought my name was pretty unique, but there are over 20 people on Facebook named Dave Hitt.)

Hardened cockpit doors and passengers who are now willing to subdue any attempts at hijacking are all the security we need.  Still, people want to feel secure, so the solution is simple: dissolve the TSA and let each airline design and publicize their own security measures.  Passengers then could decide which level of security they’re comfortable with and pick the appropriate airline.  Here are a few suggestions to get them started.

Totally Safe Airlines – Passengers have to book their tickets a month in advance and be completely vetted by a private security firm before being allowed to board.  The security firm would check their religious affiliation (of course), their political views, their friends and acquaintances, and anything they’ve said or done on the internet.  Just before they board each passenger would be subjected to a strip search, including a body cavity search.

Funny Eyes

Bacon and a Kiss Airlines – Penn Jillette came up with this one, which capitalizes on the fact that most terrorists are members of a religion that’s paranoid about pork and insanely homophobic.  There are no searches required. There would be a man and a woman at the gate.  Each would be completely naked and holding a plate of bacon.  Getting on board is simple – passengers just have to eat a piece of bacon and lightly kiss the genitals of the attendant whose gender matches theirs.

Fatalist Airlines – In keeping with their motto “When You’re Time Comes, It Comes,” Fatalist Airlines lets everyone on without checking anything.

Seriously Funny Eyes

Libertarian Airlines – Passengers bringing their own guns on board would be required to certify their bullets were frangible. (Frangible bullets  shatter when they hit anything harder than flesh, so they won’t penetrate airplane walls or windows)  Passengers without a gun will be given one.

Funny Eyes Airlines – The one thing all terrorists all have in common is funny eyes.  FEA would simply deny flights to anyone with funny eyes.  Although this might discriminate against a few innocent people, it will virtually guarantee each flight is terrorist free.

Just in time for Christmas, the British Medical Journal is featuring an article blaming Santa for obesity, speeding, drunk driving, extreme sports, smoking and reckless behavior.

Dr Nathan “Grinch” Grills wants to rework Santa into a politically correct image, right down to wearing a helmet and seat belt.

Using a variation of the nannies second favorite chant (if it saves one life, it’s worth it) he whines  “Santa only needs to affect health by 0.1 per cent to damage millions of lives”.

Nutritionist Zoe Bingley-Pullin chimed in to say he should a protected brand that can’t be used to promote unhealthy food or alcohol.

May these two scrooges be doomed to a lifetime of Christmases’ eating toufurky and drinking warm near beer.  To the rest of you, Merry Christmas!

The Copenhagen summit on global cooling global warming climate change is barely started, and already impoverished nations are demanding handouts. Environment Minister Hasan Mahmud of Bangladesh says his country is entitled to a cubic buttload of money from the big nasty countries who arrogantly built successful societies while his government kept their citizens living in a rat hole.

From the BBC article:

“We are not begging any mercy from anyone. Rather we want justice as the worst victim of climate change,” Reuters news agency quoted Qazi Kholiquzzaman Ahmad, a leading economist who is also part of the Bangladesh negotiating team, as saying.

Sorry, Quazi, you are begging. And if you’re a leading economist, why haven’t you done something to improve your own economy instead of crying “gimme gimme gimmie gimmie?”

Ed Begley Jr, one of the few AGW supporters who doesn’t fly around in private jets to complain about carbon footprints and one of Spinal Tap’s many drummers, has told “developing” countries they can adopt this song, royalty free, as their national anthem:

And so it begins. Countries where despots and idiots who have squandered every opportunity and wasted every natural resource are drooling over a new source of juicy handouts. We’ve handed them a new excuse, another way to claim “it wasn’t my fault.”

Widespread poverty is the direct result of government mismanagement, incompetence and stupidity. Africa, for instance, has amazing natural resources but is still pathetically poor. Why? The corruption and oppression in most African governments is even more legendary then their stupidity. They have turned down billions of tons of donated grain because Greens have convinced them it might contain a bit of genetically modified grain which will magically and horribly pollute their native species. They deal with AIDS by relying on deadly myths and superstitions. Ethnic and religious genocide is frighteningly common. Education is a joke.

Compare that to Hong Kong, which crams seven million people into 426 square miles. Their natural resources consist of about three square feet of farmland. Even though they have to import everything they have the most healthy and robust economy in the world. The difference between Hong Kong and African countries? Government. Hong Kong’s government lets people do pretty much anything they want, and it turns out that what they want to do is thrive.

Is it really that simple? Yeah, pretty much. My broad generalizations are ignoring subtleties and nuances, but in the big picture the wealth or poverty of any nation is the direct result of their government. Big corrupt governments impoverish their citizens. Small governments that get out of people’s way let them build their own wealth. And no country has ever become successful by relying on handouts.

I highly recommend P. J. O’rourkes “Eat The Rich,” where he travels around the world trying to understand why some economies work and most don’t. It’s not only the best economics book I’ve read, it’s funny as hell.

The Obama administration is hell bent on installing a cap and tax system that will cost each of us between one and two grand a year and will reduce greenhouse gasses by approximately nothing. While we’re still struggling to pay the bill for our own government’s incompetence – a bill that threatens to bankrupt us – we’ll be expected to support every other incompetent government as well. All they’ll have to do is blame their problems on climate change and the Obama administration will write them a check.

Contemporary philosopher Johnny Virgil sent me an e-mail containing this careful and well thought out analysis of the situation: “We are so fucked.”

Bobby McFarrin demonstrates that the pentatonic scale is a universal constant.