Quick Hitts

A few years back the game “Would You Rather…” was inexplicably popular. “Would you rather have needles shoved in your eyes, or eat a dead rat that was rotting in a ditch?” The goal was to come up with the most disgusting selections possible. It was stupid, gross and pointless and I refused to play.

Now we have an official version: “Would you rather have a socialist president backed by a socialist congress, or a right wing president in bad health with a far far far right wing fundamentalist vice president eagerly waiting in the wings?”

The vast majority of the problems in the US were directly caused by our government, including the current banking mess. Neither candidate is aware of this. Both propose more government to solve all our government created problems. It’s like a drunk saying “I know what will fix things, more Jack Daniels!”

Obama loves big government. He believes that every problem can be solved by government intervention. With a democratic congress behind him we can look forward to a lot more government, which equates to a lot less freedom. Currently the government pays half of the county’s medical bills. He doesn’t think that’s enough. He wants socialized medicine for virtually everyone. We can look forward to heath care that will eventually deteriorate to the level found in VA hospitals.

But as frightening as that may be, the possible alternative, a Palin presidency, is enough to make the bravest of us quiver like a poodle taking a dump.

She in incapable of learning. She still supports abstinence only sex education even though her daughter is living proof that the approach is useless. She looks at her daughters growing belly every day and says “Yep, we need to stick with this program.” If her daughter had been raped, she’d want the government to force her to bear the rapists child.

Fifteen seconds on Google informs us that the universe is 13.73 billion years old, +/- 2%. Sarah believes it’s six thousand. She believes that 1.4 million species of creatures all lived within walking distance of Noah’s house. And she wants that nonsense taught in public schools.

She believes politicians should be able to censor libraries. While she never followed through and banned books, the fact that the thought would even occur to her is chilling.

She believes that God wants everything she wants. She wants a pipeline, so God wants a pipeline. She supports the war in Iraq, and not surprisingly, she knows it’s God’s Will. This is especially scary coming from an end-of-the world fundamentalist. If she wants to attack a country, or even drop a nuke, she’ll do it knowing it is God’s Will. It’s unlikely she’ll be able to trigger the biblical Armageddon, but that might not stop her from trying. It’s God’s Will, after all.

So, “Would you rather have a socialist president backed by a socialist congress, or an unhealthy right wing president with a far far far right wing fundamentalist vice president eagerly waiting in the wings?” The choices are horrible, frightening and retarded, and I don’t want to play.

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The end of the world has been delayed for two weeks while repairs are made on the LHC. 

Paranoia over it creating a black hole that will destroy the universe are ridiculous.  The most it would do is destroy the solar system.  Hey, it’s been fun. 

India’s media has been broadcasting all kinds of paranoid predictions.  Thousands of people there are praying for god to save them, because that always works so well. 

One teenage girl was so upset that she killed herself, causing a slight but measurable increase in the country’s average IQ.

You shouldn’t waste any time at all worrying about this, but if you’d like some reassurance, you can watch the LHC live web cam here, and monitor the situation. 

As an enthusiastic amateur chef I’m always looking for new food items and kitchen gadgets. Especially gadgets. Some gadgets are handy, some are just fun, and quite a few of them are useless.

Recently I found the most useless kitchen gadget ever. Dean & Deluca, purveyors of high priced and overpriced goods, is selling an Olive Oil Taster. It brings out the fullest flavor and aroma, you see, and holds one perfect taste. And it’s only $67. You can buy a lot of olive oil for that, especially the brands I buy.

What, you were going to taste it with a spoon? Heathen!

The latest episode of The Quick Hitts Podcast is now available.  It’s titled “Atheists Are Coming For Your Children, but it’s not just a simple rehash of this post.  In fact, it contradicts it.  In the conclusion of that post I said fundies would be powerless to stop us from converting their children.  But after giving it some thought I realized there are some things they can do to make their kids less susceptible to the influence of us Evil Atheists.  I explain them in this episode.  Not that I expect any of them to listen.

Feel free to use the comments section of this post to heap praise or derision on the show.

I recently signed up as a writer for Ask The Atheists, a place for theists and non-theists to discuss the issue like grownups.  Rather than use my moniker “Hittman,” I decided to use you real name to give my replies the appearance of credibility. 

Most of the answers given by most of the writers are serious.  But there are exceptions.

Watching pros play poker is often confusing. Some of their decisions seem strange, counterintuitive, and just plain wrong. This is especially true of Gus Hanson, who frequently makes plays that would seem clinically insane if it he didn’t consistently wins huge amounts of money. Watching him go all in with nothing in his hand and no draws leaves the viewer wondering “What was he thinking?”

He answers that question in his new book “Every Hand Revealed.” He gives a play by play analysis of what he did, and why he did it, for every hand he played in the Aussie Millions tournament, where he finished first and won a million and a half dollars.

He’s not embarrassed to discuss his mistakes in detail, or to admit that he did something because he just felt like it. He talks about when he was really thinking about his next move, and where he had already decided and was just putting on a show. He details the calculations he uses to make his decisions and talks about when to avoid coin flip hands and when they’re worth the risk. He shows how he increases his chip stack with rotten cards, especially when the antis come into play, and how he uses his stack size to push other players around.

Will it make you a better tournament poker player? Maybe. It’s not going to make you the next Gus Hanson, but it will show you how to use aggression creativity, the importance of stack size (both yours and your opponents) when making decisions, when to be aggressive and when to back off, and how unimportant the right cards can be in some situations. But even if it doesn’t dramatically improve your play, it’s a great read for moderate to advanced players.