Quick Hitts

Many of the scary numbers we get from the “experts” are wrong, overstated, and in far too many cases, invented. They are ass numbers – numbers someone pulls out of their ass and then spews with authority. “Journalists” then print these ass numbers as if they’re real, but cover their own butts with the weasel words “according to.” “According to Dr. Bigshot McExpert drinking coffee causes a 34% increase in foot fungus.” Other “journalists” copy the story, repeating the claims. Rinse, lather, repeat and sooner or later, usually sooner, most of the public is confident in their knowledge of facts that aren’t facts at all.

This is rampant in the field of medicine, especially in medical claims used to create public policy and laws. It’s even more rampant in economics. Most economic estimates, projections and claims are just fanciful guesses designed to cause alarm where none is warranted.

Experts rely on ass numbers because they almost always get away with it. They’re seldom called on their claims. When they are, the results are usually enlightening and entertaining.

When blogger Michael Geist asked the Canadian police for proof of their claim that software piracy costs Canada thirty billon dollars a year, they said they, well, um, er, kinda sorta. . . made it up. They got their information from an industry front group that generates ass numbers for a living, and then repeated it. They also did some math, again picking random numbers for their calculations. You can read Michael’s story here.

Here’s a fun project for a rainy weekend. Scan the news for ass numbers. Pick one that seems really outrageous. If you like, you can do some research on your own to see if there’s any truth to the number, or even to find out what the real number should be, but that’s optional. Now send some e-mail to the reporters who wrote the story and any sources quoted in the article. Ask for specific sources of the numbers.

Some people will ignore you. Most who reply will evade the question. Persist. Ask them again. Be polite for at least the first few exchanges. You’ll learn a lot about trusting numbers from the experts.

A while back I did just that with ten different nicotine nanny organizations and individuals. You can read the results here.

The Nicotine Nanny Gnomes in have figured a new way to profit on their persecution of smokers.

1. Kick smokers outside.

2. Photograph them smoking outside, eagerly waiting for them to drop a butt – then slap them with a big fine.

3. Profit!

So you’re sitting on your porch or walking down the street and the sights and sounds are pleasant and you’re in a good mood. Suddenly, fading in fast, you hear the thumpa thumpa thumpa of (c)rap “music” approaching. When it reaches you it’s blasting either from a black, shiny, leased SUV or a pathetic shitbox sedan, with uplifting lyrics like

I gonna kill da bitch
I gona kill da ho
I gonna take her head off
Wid my magnum foedy-foe

If you’re in Fort Lupton, Colorado, you can smile, knowing that that when this loser gets arrested for assaulting everyone’s eardrums with his horrible taste he’ll receive exactly the punishment he deserves.

Judge Paul Sacco sentences noise offenders to stand and listen a special mix: an hour of Barry Manllow, The Carpenters, and in what may violate the prohibition against torture, Barney. Violators must stay alert during the hour log punishment and are not allowed to read, chew gum, or do anything but listen to the tunes.

The judge says he has very few repeat offenders.

Well done, Judge Sacco. You’ve found a perfect balance of the punishment fitting the crime.

“HUNTINGTON BEACH – Huntington Beach is the first city in Orange County to consider a program that would make it mandatory for pet owners to spay or neuter and to have microchips inserted in their cats and dogs.”

I’ve always neutered my pets because it’s The Right Thing To Do. I don’t spychip my pets, but if the owner wants to that’s fine. But making it mandatory is more than ridiculous, it’s an incredible infringement on pet owners. Pets are property and it’s up to their owners, not government bureaucrats, to make decisions about them.

I’ve read a bit about studies that claim RFID chips cause cancer in animals, but I don’t find them very convincing. The real problem is a complete disrespect for pet owners and property rights.

The best way to lead is by example. Therefore, the bureaucrats of Huntington Beach who support this law should first be sterilized and microchiped themselves. And in keeping with their policy, it should be mandatory.

There appears to be a secret contest between the US and the UK over who can grow the biggest, most intrusive government. So far the UK appears to be winning, but the US isn’t too far behind. Here are just a few examples of recent nonsense from across the pond.

“Parents who forbid their children to cross roads alone may be preventing them from learning vital lessons in how to avoid being run over, according to an analysis of official figures.” Surprise surprise – if you don’t let kids cross the road themselves they’re going to have problems with this rather simple but very important survival skill.

If you’d like to bring flowers to someone at the Dorset County Hospital in Dorchester, forget it. They’re now banned everywhere in the hospital, including the maternity unit and geriatrics ward. Hospital officials are afraid that bacteria could grow in the water, then the water could get spilled, then the spilled water could come in contact with patients, then, maybe, they could get an infection.

They’d better ban magazines and books too – those paper cuts can be nasty.

(Note that the URL for this article ends with …Docs=Dumb)

Well, at least you can go to the pub and enjoy yourself, right? Not so fast. Not only has smoking been banned in pubs, but now the government is writing up plans that will make it illegal to flirt with the female bartenders and waitresses. The law makes the pub owner liable if his staff gets miffed about a customer’s behavior.

And to wrap it up, this article lists more ridiculous attacks on what should be simple personal choices.

Although the UK has a slight lead in the number of laws and policies, the US is rapidly catching up. Between legislators and lawyers, we’re rapidly replacing the once famed Yankee Ingenuity with the idea that everything be perfectly safe and everyone should be prohibited from doing anything that might offend someone, and no one should ever get their feelings hurt. While we don’t know which government will win this race toward blandness and mediocrity, we can be certain that the citizens of both countries will be the losers.

DragonCon is a conglomeration of every science fiction, fantasy, fan, and uber geek conference in Atlanta. I attended for the first time last week to present the Podcast Peer Awards.

There were about 60,000 people there. A little less than half were in costume. These were not cheap simple costumes, but richly elaborate, detailed clothing and props. There were characters from Star Wars, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Harry Potter, Dr. Who, Serenity/Firefly, various video games, The Watchmen, The Crow, V for Vendetta, The Incredibles, Steamboy, Stargate SG1, Battlestar Galactica, Kiss, DC comics heros (lots of Superman, Supergirl and Batman comics), Marvel comics (surprisingly few X-men, though), The 300, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Ghostbusters, and lots and lots of Fairies and Zombies.

The convention was spread across three hotels. There were dozens of tracks – writing, costuming, fighting robots, skeptics, science, the EFF, and podcasting, to name a few. Each track offered 6-8 hour long panels, shows, or meetings per day. There was no way to see more than a small percentage of what looked interesting.

I was able to meet a lot of friends I hadn’t met before (which makes no sense to people who don’t spend much time online, perfect sense to those who do) and make some new ones. I spent most of my time in the podcasting and skeptics tracks, but hit several of the others as well.

I came back tired and rejuvenated, with a camera full of pictures. I figured I’d put them up here and share the excitement and feel of the convention with you. I loaded them up, browsed through them and . . . .

They’re just pictures of people in costumes. They can’t convey the feeling, the vibe and the buzz of being there. But they’re fun, so here are a few of them. Time permitting I’ll add more later.

The many sites at davehitt.com generate lots of e-mail. Some is complementary, some is insulting and most falls somewhere between. I enjoy it all.

I’m guessing that people who send hate filled screeds think it will make me angry. The fact is I find most of them amusing and entertaining.

Most hate mail comes from The Facts and proves that anti-smokers are blind, stupid and driven mostly by hate. But other articles also inspire venomous e-mail.

Many years ago I wrote an article explaining how Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is nothing more than extreme hypochondria. No one else wants to be near extreme hypochondriacs, so they stick together, forming little clots of misery. Every once in a while one of these clots stumbles across the article and sends me a fresh batch of spew.

This arrived in my in box this evening. I have not edited it in any way. It was written in all caps and italics, in brown lettering and a fancy curly font I won’t try to replicate.

Subject: Absolute Non-scents
From: Mayleen <maydreams@comcast.net>

PLEASE POST YOU PICTURE ON THE INTERNET SO THAT EVRYONE HAS A PICTURE OF WHAT A REAL LIVE IGNORANTE ASSHOLE LOOKS LIKE AND WE CAN PLACE IT IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO IGNORATE. WHEN YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL EDUCATION YOU CAN COME BACK AND TALK. MEANWHILE PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY MORE IGNORANCE. WE NEED THE SPACE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES.

Yes, Mayleen, you obviously do need the space for educational purposes. Free clue, genius: When you’re going to send e-mail calling someone ignorant, run it through a spelling and grammar check first.

Follow-up:

Mayleen responded to this blog entry by spamming me with a dozen articles that had nothing to do with MCS. They were mostly about allergies, and MCS “sufferers” will get highly indignant if you even imply they have something as mundane as allergies.

She sent three separate replies to my one e-mail. Her responses were:

HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING ALL THE READING MATERIAL !!!!! CORRECT THOSE !!!!!

No need to check it. I was speaking to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

NO NEED TOOOOOOO I WAS SPITING TO UUUUUU!!!!!!!

This lends credence to my theory that a person’s IQ is inversely proportionate to the number of exclamation points they use.

The brilliant and funny author Terry Pratchett mentions over use of exclamation marks in three of his books.

“‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.'”
— in “Eric(Faust)”

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
— in “Reaper Man”

“‘And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.'”
— in “Maskerade”

Source

This twit is now in my spam filter, so I won’t have anything further to report on her. But you’ve got her e-mail address if you’d like to be amused by her insanity.