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Fan Mail

The many sites at davehitt.com generate lots of e-mail. Some is complementary, some is insulting and most falls somewhere between. I enjoy it all.

I’m guessing that people who send hate filled screeds think it will make me angry. The fact is I find most of them amusing and entertaining.

Most hate mail comes from The Facts and proves that anti-smokers are blind, stupid and driven mostly by hate. But other articles also inspire venomous e-mail.

Many years ago I wrote an article explaining how Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is nothing more than extreme hypochondria. No one else wants to be near extreme hypochondriacs, so they stick together, forming little clots of misery. Every once in a while one of these clots stumbles across the article and sends me a fresh batch of spew.

This arrived in my in box this evening. I have not edited it in any way. It was written in all caps and italics, in brown lettering and a fancy curly font I won’t try to replicate.

Subject: Absolute Non-scents
From: Mayleen <maydreams@comcast.net>

PLEASE POST YOU PICTURE ON THE INTERNET SO THAT EVRYONE HAS A PICTURE OF WHAT A REAL LIVE IGNORANTE ASSHOLE LOOKS LIKE AND WE CAN PLACE IT IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO IGNORATE. WHEN YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL EDUCATION YOU CAN COME BACK AND TALK. MEANWHILE PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY MORE IGNORANCE. WE NEED THE SPACE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES.

Yes, Mayleen, you obviously do need the space for educational purposes. Free clue, genius: When you’re going to send e-mail calling someone ignorant, run it through a spelling and grammar check first.

Follow-up:

Mayleen responded to this blog entry by spamming me with a dozen articles that had nothing to do with MCS. They were mostly about allergies, and MCS “sufferers” will get highly indignant if you even imply they have something as mundane as allergies.

She sent three separate replies to my one e-mail. Her responses were:

HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING ALL THE READING MATERIAL !!!!! CORRECT THOSE !!!!!

No need to check it. I was speaking to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

NO NEED TOOOOOOO I WAS SPITING TO UUUUUU!!!!!!!

This lends credence to my theory that a person’s IQ is inversely proportionate to the number of exclamation points they use.

The brilliant and funny author Terry Pratchett mentions over use of exclamation marks in three of his books.

“‘Multiple exclamation marks,’ he went on, shaking his head, ‘are a sure sign of a diseased mind.'”
— in “Eric(Faust)”

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
— in “Reaper Man”

“‘And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.'”
— in “Maskerade”

Source

This twit is now in my spam filter, so I won’t have anything further to report on her. But you’ve got her e-mail address if you’d like to be amused by her insanity.

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1 Comment(s)

  1. Heh. I guess that person didn’t notice the few pictures of yourself you already have up in your old articles.

    Harley | Sep 22, 2007 | Reply

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