The 20,000% tax increase.

No, that is not a misprint. Congress is trying to implement a tax increase that will be 20,000% in some cases.

State, federal, and even city governments have been screwing cigarette smokers for decades. In some cases those taxes are over 800%. (The Boston Tea Party was a protest against a 4% tax.) Cigar smokers get screwed by states who typically charge a 35-75% tax, but federal taxes have been about a nickel a cigar for quite a while.

That could change very soon. The Democrat controlled congress wants an extra $35-billion to $50-billion for the state children’s health insurance program. The program distributes payments to the states to help buy coverage for kids not poor enough for Medicaid. In other words, they want to expand socialized medicine. They plan to raise the money by adding a 53% tax on cigars with a cap of $10 per cigar. A $100 box of cigars will now cost $153, and that’s before the states slap their taxes on.

Cigarette smokers, don’t feel left out. You’re going to get screwed too, as the federal tax rate goes from thirty-nine cents a pack to a buck.

And it gets worse. The tax will apply to existing inventory, so tobacco store owners will be hit with a huge tax bill. This is the same trick Rob Reiner pulled when he helped pass the meathead tax on tobacco on California a few years back. It put hundreds of small cigar shops out of business. The tax was earmarked for some children’s cause, a government organization that told parents how to raise their kids, but there’s some question if any of it ever made it there.

When you call your congress weasels to tell them to vote against this bill, suggest another law to them: The Taxhole Act.

The Taxhole Act

  1. A member of the House or Senate, or any other federal government official or government representative propose who votes for any tax increase that has been advertised as “for the children” shall be considered a Taxhole.
  2. Public figures, including state and local politicians, celebrities, wanna be celebrities and washed up former celebrities that some people may vaguely remember, who advocate tax increases while using the phrase “for the children” or any similar phrase, shall also be considered Taxholes.
  3. Any Taxhole who advocates for two or more tax increases shall be deemed a Double Taxhole.
  4. Any American Citizen or lawful legal resident shall have the right, once per year, to kick any Taxhole in the testicles. In the rare event that the Taxhole does not have testicles, the citizen shall be able to kick them anywhere they like. It is suggested the citizen kick them in the head. If the citizen is not limber/tall enough to apply a boot to the head, they are encouraged to kick them in the taxhole.
    1. Steel toed boots are not required, but they are encouraged.
  5. In the case of Double Taxholes, Citizens are allowed to use a baseball bat instead of their feet.

14 Comment(s)

  1. The only thing this is going to do is start a brisk tobacco smuggling business (aka Mafia). Now that pot is going to be cheaper, I wonder if we’ll see more people using it instead?

    Eight Hour Lunch | Jul 20, 2007 | Reply

  2. Er, I think there’s a delightfully ironic misprint in the sentence after “no, that is not a misprint.” There’s a lesson here somewhere…

    Andrew | Jul 24, 2007 | Reply

  3. Fixed. It wasn’t ironic enough to leave there.

    Dave Hitt | Jul 24, 2007 | Reply

  4. Rapid Rants, eh?! Love it. :-)

    I believe we should all send the Taxhole Act outline to our duly appointed representatives.

    Any chance you could do a blog on ASDS (Anti-Smokers’ Dysfunction Syndrome)?

    ==> Stevie

    DTB | Jul 29, 2007 | Reply

  5. Documenting all the dysfunctions of the anti smoker mind set would require more space than my web hosts have on their server.

    But here’s a start to understanding their pathology:

    Hittman | Aug 2, 2007 | Reply

  6. Has the proposal now become law?

    Is there any update to the subject on your blog?

    Carolus Magnus

    Carolus Magnus | Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

  7. Congress passed it, Bush vetoed it, congress attempted to override it, that failed, then they tried another version, which also failed, then they passed a bill to extend the existing version, which Bush signed.

    You can find the details here:

    Hittman | Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

  8. Thanks – I love your blog and it is linked to mine for almost a year.

    Carolus Magnus

    Carolus Magnus | Oct 29, 2008 | Reply

  9. Sorry about the lateness of this reply. I eventually did such a page (or three) on a website, . It’s geered more toward providing recovery to those afflcted with ASDS.

    Also, SCHIP recently passed. It will take vast sums of money out of the general economy (via tax) largely for the purpose of paying for the healthcare of illegal immigrants. (A very small percentage of American children are actually left uncovered by insurance for _sustained_ periods of time, although there are some who are not convered for relatively short periods of time.) Stupid, especially in today’s economy.

    DancingTigerBait | Feb 21, 2009 | Reply

  10. I need to do a more up to date post on the subject.

    The expansion covers “poor” people who earn up to $64k a year. That means a $20k smoker gets to pay for the larvae of someone making three times as much. Lovely.

    Dave Hitt | Feb 22, 2009 | Reply

  11. I’m glad this never happened..

    Diego | Oct 4, 2009 | Reply

  12. Are you being sarcastic? Or…no, you can’t possibly be serious, LOL.

    It’s really a shame. All the money I’ve spent on those taxes–Federal, state, Local, MSA payments and, now, SCHIP–that I would have otherwise spent on other things. Given the state of the economy, it’d be better to spend and stimulate the economy. But, well, people seem to prefer to have politicians tax us out of everything.

    DTB | Oct 4, 2009 | Reply

  13. Yes I’m being sarcastic, i think i’m paying more than 20,000 % of what i payed before, and they will start to tax fast food, junk food, more tax on smokes, more tax on drinks, and of course the big brotherism all over the place.

    Diego | Oct 5, 2009 | Reply

  14. I think George Orwell was completely right in “1984” the story in that book is where America is headed.

    Diego | Oct 5, 2009 | Reply

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