I recently received a link to the latest Nicotine Nazi handbook (PDF).  It provides detailed, step by step plan these spineless goobers can use to coerce Big Brother into to imposing their will on business owners.

I usually try to be witty and pithy in these columns, working in the clever metaphor or silly pun, but my hatred for these scumbags, the most useless and vile of all the parasites who infest our planet, requires a more direct approach. They are more disgusting than two day old hotdog water.  The only way to describe them accurately is with a copious amount of obscenity.

The best way to demonstrate their evil is to quote directly from their own document.

“Advocates new to the smokefree indoor air movement often wonder why they should bother trying to convince local elected officials to enact a strong smokefree indoor air ordinance when they could put the matter on the municipal ballot and let voters decide. The answer to this question is found in the experiences of smokefree advocates around the country, which indicate that ballot initiatives are NOT the preferred method to enact local and state smokefree laws.”

I’ve never been a fan of direct democracy, especially when it comes to voting on people’s rights.  (This is a property rights issue.  If you’ve been conned into believing it’s a health issue, please keep reading to get Smartnized.®)  But they are opposed to it, not for any philosophical reason, but because it’s not 100% successful.  There are several cases of people choosing freedom over nannyism.  That simply can’t be allowed.

They show their true colors in the Dealbreakers section, which outlines why any compromise must be avoided.   The first item is ventilation.  Ventilation units are available that can make the air inside a bar full of smokers cleaner than the air outside, but they continue to lie about this, proving it’s not a health issue.  If it were, they’d be demanding ventilation instead of fighting it.

They work through a long list of compromises, rejecting every one with idiotic rationalizations.  They never mention their actual reason: the compromises are reasonable and allow choice, two things they simply won’t tolerate.

They come down particularly hard on “hardship exemptions,” where venues that can prove the ban has caused significant losses are allowed to go back to treating their smoking customers like human beings.  In realty, hardship exemptions are a joke.  New York’s draconian anti-smoker/anti-business law had a hardship exemption, but the Department of Health simply refused to allow them no matter how badly the venue was hurting.  They handed out less than a half dozen exemptions in the entire state.

NNs constantly harp on the idea of protecting the workers who have chosen to work in smoky environments.  These anencephalic asswipes will never admit that they’ll also protect them from the inconvenience of a steady job and a regular paycheck.

Let’s get back to their freedom abolishing how-to:

Sunset provisions:

A “sunset provision” stipulates that a law will expire on a certain date unless it is renewed, and it carries with it the inference that there is some reason to revisit the law, perhaps in order to ensure that the law is not having an adverse economic impact or other negative effects. Sunset provisions unfairly place the burden on the public health community to prove that the law is working successfully and to advocate for its renewal. Public health measures should be permanent and should not be left vulnerable to political pressures to allow these measures to expire. Advocates should not be forced to fight the same battle over and over again.

So they can apply political pressure, but no one else should be able to.  They can attack businesses year after year after year after year, forcing them to fight back year after year after year, but if they win they want it done for, forever.

Exemptions for membership associations (Private Clubs):

Membership associations (also referred to as “private clubs”) are rarely private at all. The public may be misled to believe they are “private” spaces, but in practice, they are often open to the public at certain times and may have paid employees. If an organization has employees, it should be treated like any other workplace. Smokefree laws should apply to all workplaces, regardless of ownership. The only exception to this rule may be if the membership organization is entirely closed to the public at all times and has no paid or volunteer employees. Keep in mind that membership associations routinely comply with public health and safety laws (building codes, sanitation laws, etc.) so complying with a smokefree law would not be out of the ordinary.

Here they show their complete disdain for the very concept of private property.  I suspect part of the problem is that these mega-douchebags would never be allowed in a private club, (the Whiny Little Bitch Club wasn’t a financial success) so they want everyone to be as miserable as they are.

Exemptions for tobacco retail shops, cigar bars, and hookah bars:

These exemptions, although once common, are no longer the norm. The tobacco industry and other opposition groups continue to assert that these establishments warrant exemption. In reality, these businesses are no different than any other workplace or public place. All employees, no matter where they are employed, deserve the right to breathe clean air at work.

Here’s a free clue, you miserable shitstains: Nobody works in a cigar store unless tobacco is their favorite vegetable.  Tobacconists and their employees pride themselves in their thorough knowledge of cigars and pipe tobacco.  They can tell you more about a Hoyo de Monterrey Double Corona than a wine snot can tell you about a vintage Merlot, and they gain most of that knowledge through (shudder) smoking!

Cigars from a tobacconist cost at least 2-3 times the on-line price.  There are only three reasons to by them there.

One minor reason is to sample a stick or two before deciding if you’d like to buy a box on-line.  The other minor reason is the “mercy sale,” a purchase made just to help the place out.  But the major reason, hell, the real reason, is to sit in the cigar lounge and enjoy a smoke with other cigar lovers.

We’re a very diverse bunch.  Visit any cigar lounge and you’ll meet people from every economic level, with every political viewpoint, every religious affiliation and every personality type, except for one.  You’ll never find a dickless weasel in a cigar lounge.  No wonder the nannies hate us.

Grandfather clauses:

These provisions establish separate rules for restaurants, bars, or other hospitality businesses based on the date that they obtained their operating permit. Grandfathering in establishments that have a permit as of a particular date locks in a two tier system of smoking restrictions. It is unfair to employees and customers of older establishments to deny them the health protections that apply in newer establishments. Again, smokefree laws are only effective and fair when they make all businesses in a given category smokefree. In addition, these provisions may open the door to legal challenges by business proprietors who claim that their businesses are being placed at a competitive disadvantage and point out that the provisions are not based on legitimate public health grounds. (Emphases added.)

Here they dance around the ugly truth – if most businesses are forced to go smoke free, the revenues of the few exempted venues will soar at the expense of those burdened with the nanny law.  Naturally, those affected will complain about it, and in the process expose one of the nicotine nanny’s biggest lies: bans are good for business.

The experiences of countless campaigns show that no matter how small or isolated a community, the tobacco industry, its allies, and other organized opposition groups will go to great lengths to prevent, overturn, or undermine the enactment and implementation of a strong smokefree law.

Too bad this isn’t true.  Although there are rare exceptions, Big Tobacco usually ignores pending bans, much to the consternation of the business owners who could use a little help in their fight for freedom and property rights.

Newer advocates often swear that they have never heard from the opposition. But the industry often operates beneath the radar, since it has essentially no credibility at the community level.

The industry seldom operates at all, although anyone who opposes smoke free laws can expect to be accused of working for the tobacco industry.  On the flip side, the “health” industry is always a hidden partner of the Nicotine Nazis.  The biggest dirtbag in this scam is the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the “charity” arm of Johnson & Johnson.  They funnel money to The American Cancer Society and similar organizations, which pass it on to the NNs, who may not even be aware that they’re dupes of Big Pharma.  It’s textbook astroturfing.

Smokefree laws are one of the most powerful weapons in the public health arsenal. If you pursue them strategically, drawing on the principles and lessons outlined above, you can reap major benefits for your community. In addition to protecting all people from secondhand smoke exposure, smokefree laws also help smokers quit and change norms about the social acceptability of smoking.

And there’s the bottom line folks.  Literally – it’s the bottom line of their document.  These fucktard’s real goal is to force people to quit.  They’re doing it by conning the public into considering smoking, and especially smokers, abnormal.  This is what really drives them.  I’ve been dealing with these wankers for a years, and seen hate that would make a Klansman jealous.  People driven by this much hate won’t ever stop, unless we stop them.

So far, our record sucks.

More Info:

If you’ve been duped into believing that second hand smoke is dangerous, visit The Facts and get Smartenized.

If you think it’s inapprorpate to call then Nazis, find out why it’s the perfect description.