The Solution to the Jewish Salt Conspiracy

I’m finding so many stupid things believers do I was thinking of starting a separate blog – Things Atheists Didn’t Do – to list them.  But the last thing I need is another blog, so I’ve just made it a category on this one.

The only difference between Kosher salt and regular salt is the grind.  Kosher salt is coarser, which makes it better for dry rubs and other uses.  I use it to make fresh garlic paste.  Chop the garlic up as finely as possible, sprinkle kosher salt over it, and then mash it with the side of your knife to turn it into a paste.  Regular salt doesn’t work nearly as well.

Religiously, all pure salt is kosher.  Kosher salt gets its name from the practice of using it to process meat – its greater surface area lets it do a better job of drawing blood from meat.

But retired barber Joe Godlewski was upset about how many TV chiefs recommend kosher salt, so he’s countering it with Blessed Christian Salt.  It’s blessed by a priest, you see, so that makes it Christian.  (Kosher food isn’t blessed by anyone.  Kosher means it was examined by a Rabbi to make sure it was processed according to Jewish dietary laws.)  Joe says “This is about keeping Christianity in front of the public so that it doesn’t die.”  Because that’s such a big problem.

The salt is sold by The Ingredients Corporation of America, who spent approximately twelve seconds coming up with their business name.  The second line on their home page says “All our ingredients are Kosher Certified and FDA approved,” so anyone looking to avoid that nasty Jew salt is going to choke on the irony.

I wonder, if you put kosher salt in holy water, does it explode?

4 Comment(s)

  1. I’m thinking of starting up a new type of salt. “Atheist salt”, said to induce moments of mental clarity in anyone with an ounce of sense left, to see that religion is more or less useless in today’s society.

    Think it’ll be anywhere as successful as “Blessed Christian Salt”?

    But hey, why stop there? I mean, the Christians have got churches, ceremonies, and various other pompous perks. Why not demand that atheism also have buildings dedicated to celebrating our lack of belief, and declare ourselves exempt from tax?

    After all, if anything, Christianity is in the public eye way more than atheism is. Let’s level the playing field, shall we?

    blufindr | Jun 29, 2009 | Reply

  2. Excuse, that I interrupt you, but it is necessary for me little bit more information.

    kaballa | Sep 1, 2009 | Reply

  3. My understanding is that table salt contains anti-caking additives, while Kosher salt is pure salt.

    Macossay | Jan 11, 2010 | Reply

  4. I love the name “The Ingredients Corporation of America.” It makes me want to start a business called “The Components Group, LLC” or “The Pieces of Stuff Company, Inc.”

    GodlessHeathen | Sep 24, 2010 | Reply

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