Big Brother and Best Buy Compete

Big Brother and Best Buy Compete in a “Who Can Be Stupider Contest”

We don’t usually get to see the internal policy manuals for companies or government agencies, so we have to guess at their contents based on the actions of their employees. Based on this article, the policy manual for Best Buy evidently states:

  • When you make a mistake installing a car stereo, apologize to the customer and tell him the installation is free.
  • Call the customer the next day and demand payment, threatening to call the police if he doesn’t come in.
  • If he shows up and tries to pay with $2 bills, check the bills with a counterfeit detecting pen.
  • If they pass the test, call the police.

And the Baltimore Police Policy Manual must say:

  • Hire Police Officers who are too dumb to know that $2 bills are legal tender.
  • If a citizen uses $2 bills, handcuff him.
  • Then put him in leg irons.
  • Drag him off to the police station and chain him to a pole for three hours.
  • Call the Secret Service.
  • When the Secret Service arrives and confirms that $2 bills are legal tender, blame it all on 9/11.



2 Comment(s)

  1. Best Buy is stupid. Those idiots that work there should be going to Special Olympics, except they’d LOSE…

    Best Buy Bozo: “Do you want the extended warranty”

    Me: “No thanks.”

    BBB: “Let me tell you about the extended warranty.”

    Me: “I don’t want it thanks. And I don’t have enough money to pay for it.”

    BBB: “This is what you get with the extended warranty.”

    Me: “Listen, I don’t have enough to pay for the warranty, I don’t want the warranty, I’m really in a hurry, can we pretend I’ve heard it and still don’t want it?”

    BBB: “Dude this is a great warranty.”

    Me: “I don’t want the warranty. Ring me out. I want to leave. Take my freakin’ money FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!”

    Best Buy Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Me: “Yeah, I don’t want the warranty, I can’t afford the warranty, but he won’t accept that I don’t want it, and I just want to pay for my item and leave!”

    BBM: “Well you have to let my people do their jobs!”

    Me: “So have him take my money.”

    BBM: “If you persist, I’ll ask you to leave.”

    Me: “So if I keep insisting your employee take my money, you’ll make me keep my money and leave???”

    BBM: “Sir, you need to consider-“

    Me: “F*** you. Keep the goddamn stereo and stick the warranty up your a$$.”

    HerfDog | May 31, 2007 | Reply

  2. Best Buy is an even shittier place to work than it is to shop. Imagine the worst stereotypes of cold, unfeeling corporate culture and you have Best Buy. Working there is like being in a cult. You have to memorize the company’s mission statement, you have to know what your department’s sales goals are each day. In the mornings, you have to stand in a circle with everyone else and chant pro-Best Buy slogans.

    The reason Best Buy employees bug you relentlessly about the extended warranty is that their hours depend on it. They tell you they’re not on commission, but they use a little something called “performance-based scheduling.” See, most sales staff are part-time workers, so you can be scheduled anywhere from 0-30 hours in a given week. Each department gets a certain number of hours to budget every week, so after filling the full-timers schedules, they distribute the rest to the part-timers, and the more extended warranties and other worthless services the part-timer sells, the more likely it is he or she will get 25-30 hours the following week as opposed to 4. So really, the “no commission” thing is a little white lie, as their pay IS, in fact, indirectly related to their sales performance.

    Brian | Oct 25, 2012 | Reply

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