Understanding The Nanny Mindset

Over on the Skeptics Guide To the Universe forums someone started a thread about Cigars, asking for advice on picking a nice cigar without spending too much.

It didn’t take long for the Nicotine Nazi/Nannies to show up, whining about, well, everything.  We asked them to take it elsewhere – we just wanted to have a nice conversation about cigars – but nannies are physically incapable of minding their own business.  They have to run their yaps to relive the intense pressure caused by the volatile mixture of ignorance and arrogance that powers them.  Otherwise they might physically explode.

I’ve been dealing with these clowns since the days of dial-up BBSs, so I knew what was coming.  Nannies, having no imagination, are entirely predictable.  I knew at least one of them would spew a scatological post – I would have bet my house on it.  Sure enough, MisterMarc dropped this gem:

YEAH! I mean, what are you going to do next, try to stop people from pissing and shitting wherever they want? Dude, that’s just wrong! If you try to stop me from shitting on the sidewalk, you may as well be trying to stop me from BREATHING!! It’s a natural body function! If people don’t want to watch me shit, then they should go somewhere else, you Nanny-State lover!

Every time, every single time, NNs infest a forum conversation, you’ll see a post like this.  They’ll talk about shitting on the sidewalk (or your salad), farting in your face, peeing in your pool or pissing on your dinner plate.  They never realize they’re providing us with a perfect insight into what makes them tick.

Most toddlers go through a scatological phase.  They’re obsessed and fascinated with farts and pee and poo.  They think any reference to them in hilarious.  This is perfectly normal, and healthy kids outgrow this phase around age four or five.  Nannies, though, never do.

They’re toddlers living in a grown-up’s body.  They miss having mommy and daddy taking care of their every need and protecting them from every real and imagined danger.  Since Mommy and Daddy have left them on their own, mistakenly thinking they’re now big boys and girls, they’re desperate for a surrogate.  The only one they can find to fill the void is Big Brother.

Remember this when dealing with any flavor of nanny.   The only difference between them and a snot-nosed toddler is that on rare occasions the toddler may listen to reason.


4 Comment(s)

  1. Tell ’em Steve-Dave.

    Lead Farmer | Jun 8, 2010 | Reply

  2. I don’t care what you say. Farts are funny.

    johnny virgil | Jun 8, 2010 | Reply

  3. Yes, farts are always funny, and always will be, but healthy adults are not obsessed with them the way NNs are.

    There’s no easy way to link to the funniest fart story I’ve ever experienced, because it’s part way down a long-ass page. But if you go here http://www.davehitt.com/blog/archives04.html and search for “oldest joke” you’ll find it.

    Hittman | Jun 8, 2010 | Reply

  4. Dave you taught me a new word…….. scatological.My wifes LAP DOG god bless the lil shit…has the same nanny styl problem.When my niece cam by the other day she did a fart noise with her mouth and ever since the dog has this problem like nany nazis,he has to come run and get in your face and sniff the air……..its really funny when the farts are real!!!! imagination is required here….now the only next logical step is when will the nannys start sniffing are arses…….

    harleyrider1978 | Jun 9, 2010 | Reply

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