Quick Hitts

Sixteen Things You Can Blame on Global Warming

I thought that the killings in Darfur were the result of tribal warfare, rebel groups, a corrupt government (is there any other kind?) and regional politics. Silly me. It turns out it was caused by global warming. And that’s according to the UN, so you [...]

It had been one of those days. I came home from work tired, wanting nothing more to flop down in my recliner and watch something mindless on the Tivo. Sammy, though, wouldn’t allow it. He had been alone all day and he demanded a walk. Right now, dammit! (Sammy is a hundred pounds of [...]

A few years ago I saw a distinguished British actor expressing concern over Muslim the birth rates in the UK. The general population is having fewer and fewer children, to the point where they’re not even replacing their own population. The fundamentalist Muslims, however, are breeding at a prodigious rate – three times [...]

Most architectural drawings show people in the picture. It’s the easiest way to show scale, show the building in use, and make it look more real.The people in such drawings are either drawn by artists or Photoshoped in, using stock images. Simple. Harmless. No big deal, right?
Wrong. Now the PC [...]

In Denver a 22 foot statue of Jesus was struck by lightening. The bolt from heaven blew off its right arm and, for good measure, its left hand.
“Don’t look for any religious symbolism here – it was only a freak act of Mother Nature, says Sister Ilaria.”
Really? I’d be willing to bet a [...]

Step 1: Spend $1200 to convert your car to run on clean burring, ecologically friendly vegetable oil.
Step 2: Buy soybean oil from the Cosco, paying 30% more than you would for diesel.
Step 3: Pay a $2,000 fine to Big Brother for daring to go outside the system.
When government drone tax collector Reggie Little was questioned [...]

Every well stocked humidor contains a few surprises – cigars bought on a whim, just waiting to be tried out.  Sometimes you discover something great.  More often you’ll find something that’s OK, but not as good as your favorites.
An Oliveros XL For Men corona had been sitting in my humidor long enough, so I poured [...]

I received a very sad e-mail a few weeks ago. Archie McPhee, who sells some of the most fun and useless stuff on the planet, informed everyone on their mailing list that the original plastic pink flamingos, the epitome of tastelessness and kitsch, were going out of production. The company that made them [...]

One of the most insidious problems with socialized medicine is usually overlooked: It gives the lifestyle nannies a very potent way to control everyone else. Anyone who makes choices the nannies disapprove of will find their medical care delayed, and maybe even denied.
This has been going on for quite a while in England, [...]

I’ve been a Weird Al fan since he did “Another One Rides The Bus” in the early 80’s. Most novelty acts do one or two songs and then fade away. Some make a fortune with one holiday song like “The Monster Mash” or “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” and call it [...]

About a month ago my doctor told me my diabetes medicine wasn’t working as well as it used to, so he added Avandia into the mix. It worked very well – after a week or so my blood sugar had dropped to nearly normal levels.
A week after that the media started reporting that this [...]

Those wacky fundies are at it again. This time they’ve got a board game parents can use to reduce the IQ of their children. Or, as they describe it:
At last, a board game that reveals the insanity of perhaps the greatest hoax of our times — the unscientific “theory of evolution.”
“Intelligent Design vs Evolution” is [...]

Five students at the Galesburg Illinois high school have been denied their diplomas, not for anything they did, but because people in the audience had the audacity to cheer when they walked across the stage.
Clarke Campbell, president of the Indianapolis school board, defended the idiocy. “It’s an important, solemn occasion,” he said. [...]